The Best of me

Dear reader, this is an attempt at another positive post. Let me know if I succeeded.

Too often, I get into a fixed loop of negative thinking where I tell myself I am a failure. That I will never be good enough, that the people who love me deserve better. Today's post is an exercise in positive thinking. When i say positive thinking, I don't mean telling myself "Everything is awesome!" Aaand queue the song. No, what i am referring to is the direct opposite of my negative thought loops. I am going to spend this post talking about what makes me wonderful. What makes me worthwhile as a person. And why I am a success. 

This is, of course very difficult for me, because we were always taught to "praise everyone but yourself". But just because something is difficult, does not mean it is not worth doing. Quite the opposite in fact. I have found that the difficult things are the things that are the most worthwhile. They give you a sense of achievement. And make you grow as a person. This brings me to the first good thing about me. I have grit. I am strong-willed and determined and if I deem something worth doing, I will persevere and do everything in my power to get it done. It does not matter the obstacles, the difficulties, I will stubbornly, determinedly push on.

To balance that strong will, i am pragmatic. Realistic. I have to be, otherwise that stubbornness becomes an extreme and switches over into a negative trait. One that would force me to blindly push my way down a path even when that path is no longer feasible. I can generally see clearly when a path will not work for me and am flexible enough that I can stop myself from banging my head against a brick wall.

And so we come to my next positive trait. I am balanced. I crave balance and order in most areas of my life and so I am constantly aware of the possibility of tipping over to one side or the other. This need for balance makes me, in my opinion, a fairly stable person, but it can also confuse others into thinking that I am not. This is because I compensate constantly on one side or the other to maintain what I consider the middle ground. This makes people think that I am not a very calm or stable person.

My sense of responsibility is also very well developed.Once I have taken ownership of a task or project, I will never let you down, even to the detriment of myself. In that regard, I am extremely trustworthy. If you entrust me with something, you can rest assured that it will be taken care of.

I am a leader. I consider true leaders to be people who lead from the front, by example. A true leader never requires more of others than they require of themselves. I teach by example and will often take more onto my shoulders to spare those who look to me. I give my best and expect the same from others. 

I am honest and straightforward to the point of being blunt. I don't often prevaricate and find small-talk pointless. This means that you will always know where you stand with me. If I am avoiding you, you can probably take it as a sign that I am trying not to say something will offend or hurt you. If you force the issue an prevent me from doing what I can to avoid a confrontation, you will end up hearing some unpleasant truths.

i am fairly intelligent and, though i am not necessarily good at everything, I excel in my chosen fields of specialization.  I am often able to see to the heart of a problem and find innovative solutions by thinking outside the box. I also have a good grasp of the bigger picture enabling me to see potential ramifications of any given course of action. I see in shades of gray rather than pure black and white. 

I am passionate and loyal and a good listener. I have an extensive vocabulary that comes from my love of reading and of writing. i am an excellent organizer, often thinking of things that others have missed. I am creative and artistic, even though I cannot draw. 

And that's me. Those of you who know me, is this how you see me?