Monday, June 27, 2011

Dear You

(Stolen from Another Suburban Mom )
Dear You,

Hello again. It’s a little while since I wrote to you last, isn’t it? I was just thinking about you. Yes, you! And you. You too, over there in the corner. I’ve been thinking about you a lot.

I want you to know something. You’re ok, you are. Oh I know, you’re not perfect and sometimes you feel fraudulent, like you’re only pretending to be ok, but the truth is, imperfection and “faking it” are ok too.

I want you to know, you don’t have to feel invincible all the time to be ok. You don’t have to be permanently fabulous to make a difference to the world. Nor do you have to be completely loving of yourself, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to be ok. It’s ok to feel afraid, to have doubts, to be a little less than your shiny self from time to time. It happens to all of us, and that’s ok. The key thing is to acknowledge it, feel it and allow it to pass. Or if you need it, it’s totally ok to ask for help. You don’t have to change the world all on your own.

Also, don’t feel you have to perform all the time either. There will be times where you just need to step back and BE without worrying about what you have to DO. Anyone who expects you to be perfectly “on” all the time doesn’t really care about you – they’re caring more about themselves and their own expectations than your needs or feelings.

The thing is, self love is about so much more than just declaring “I am awesome!” and believing it. You are awesome. But you are also human, and part of caring for yourself is acknowledging that all humans are flawed, and cutting yourself some slack. Forgiving yourself. You will make mistakes, and you will be flawed, but that’s fine. We are all flawed, we all make mistakes. What matters is how you work through those mistakes and flaws. The most perfect thing you can do is acknowledge them and learn from them. But most importantly, be responsible for your mistakes. That’s the thing that will make a difference.

Because really, it’s all about doing the best you can within whatever circumstances you’ve got in your life at any given time. So what if someone else is able to do more, give more, be more. That’s them, in their lives. You have yourself, in your life, so that’s what you’ve got to work with.

But there is something I REALLY want you to know. You are a perfectly acceptable human being right now, this minute. You are just as valid as any other human being, without changing a single thing about yourself. That doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to want to grow, evolve or improve yourself, or you can’t do better sometimes, it just means right now this instant, you are worthy of your own self love. Even if it is hard to love yourself sometimes (and boy, is it!), or you’re struggling with some really difficult stuff in your life, you still deserve it.

So dearest you, be kind to yourself, be kind to others, and give the best version of you that you can give, but know that even in the tough times, you are still valid, worthy and deserving of your own self love.

I love you.

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